love of the loveless

We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. 

It’s easy. The first guy I ever loved was someone I knew in tenth grade. 

The last man I love will be someone I haven’t even met yet, probably. 

They all count. 

But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like.

These are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 40 years.

There is always one person who you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually.This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. 

The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really want to love someone.

But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.